Tristan married a stranger on national TV and it changed his life
When Manly’s Tristan Black decided to go on the reality show Married at First Sight (MAFS) there was no hesitation. His last long-term relationship had left him lacking confidence, with Tristan explaining he’d struggled to ask new people out.
His reasons for joining the Channel 9 show? “To find a wife, to find love. To be honest, I was really hoping to find my soulmate,” Tristan, 30, explains.
Tristan kept the fact he was going on season 11 of MAFS a secret, right up until filming day. Even his mum, Jolan, didn’t know. “Mum was shocked, and she was a bit like, ‘Why are you getting married? You don’t even have a girlfriend!’” he says.
The groom had his own reservations. “I was nervous my wife was going to take one look at me and run away,” the entertainment manager says of waiting to meet his bride for the first time at the altar. But when he turned around and saw Cass smile, ‘I was done’.
“I saw a smile, a beautiful big smile (and) the most heartwarming vibe. It’s so hard to explain, but it melted my heart and got me relaxed,” he recalls.
MAFS has been Australia’s most-watched show and rates an average of two million viewers each episode. Couples are matched based on their values, personality types and interests by ‘relationship and sex’ experts. Few couples go on to get married ‘for real’. Season 11 is drawing to a close.
Tristan and Cassandra when on MAFS
As Tristan and his wife, Cassandra Allen, 29, honeymooned then moved in together, he realised the experts had matched the pair well. “I mean, look at my wife. I got so lucky with Cassandra,” he says, adding they shared a love of food and action movies and would go on ‘crazy dates’ like go-carting.
The couple had their challenges though, as Tristan struggled with past experiences of bullying, body confidence and intimacy which were laid bare in front of the experts, and viewers, at the weekly ‘commitment ceremony’.
“So the show basically saved my life, I’ll be honest,” Tristan says. “When I first started that show, inside I was just a wreck.”
Tackling his issues on MAFS forced Tristan to act. “It’s changed everything about me. There are still foundations of Tristan there, but instead of me living in always such a negative head space, I live a lot more in a positive kind of head space.” Tristan says Cass accepted him for who he was and ‘gave me the reason to help change’.
Despite the pair not working out, Tristan says they are still in contact. “I knew Cass and I had tried our best with our relationship.” He explains that ‘long story short, we decided that we should just be friends’.
“I do feel the show did change my life. I got to see how people see me, what I am like in a relationship and just overall that I’m a pretty cool dude,” he says.
Tristan says his perfect date in Manly would involve coffee at the Butchers Café, followed by the Fairlight to Manly walk, then a picnic at Esplanade Park at Manly Cove, known as ‘The Office’ and finally a drink at the Wharf Bar.
Watch Married at First Sight on 9Now.