Meet two local women quietly making a huge difference to the world around them as we mark International Women’s Day on 8 March
Warning: This story discusses sexual abuse. If you need help, call Lifeline 13 11 14
BRENDA LIN Survivor and saviour
Providing a safe space for survivors of sexual assault to meet and talk about their experiences has helped North Shore local Brenda Lin to not only find her own space to heal following the traumatic events in her past – but it’s delivered help more than 1,600 survivors across the country.
“The Survivor Hub is a really beautiful space,” Brenda says of the small peer-led meet-ups she started with a group of three other survivors, including friend Anna Coutts-Trotter (daughter of Federal Environment Minister Tanya Pilbersek).
Brenda was 15 and away on a school trip to New Caledonia in 2009 when her father, mother, two brothers and aunt were murdered at their home in North Epping.
Brenda was sent to live with her Aunt Kathy and Uncle Robert Xie for two years, before the same uncle, Robert Xie, was arrested and charged with the murders of Brenda’s family in May 2011.
In 2017, Robert Xie was convicted and sentenced to five consecutive life terms in prison. It was during his trial that Brenda revealed Robert Xie had been sexually abusing her.
“I often don’t get the opportunity to talk about what happened to me or about my family because people are worried about upsetting me or they don’t know how to respond or how to engage with it, which I completely understand.
“But having The Survivor Hub has meant that I have a really safe and appropriate space to share some of that experience. Not always about my family, but even just about being a survivor.
“It has provided that healing outlet for me.”
Brenda, a criminologist, was tutoring at Sydney University when she first met Anna, a social work student. Anna had experienced an abusive relationship with a former partner and the pair got talking.
“We’re from different walks of life, but there’s something really special in being able to be understood and to connect with someone else over something that’s really unique and traumatic,” Brenda, 30, says.
Together they decided to set up a small group meeting for survivors. It was just the peer-support group Brenda had been looking for, but couldn’t find.
“One in three women will experience domestic violence, sexual violence or family violence at some point in their life,” Brenda says. “How do you go up to someone and say, ‘This is what happened to me, let’s chat about it.’? You can’t, so despite it being such a common and shared experience, there’s such a taboo and stigma around it, and you can’t heal unless you’re given opportunities to share and process and work through those experiences.”
The grassroots beginnings of The Survivor Hub grew, and in 2022 it was registered as a charity. Now 50 volunteers help to run The Survivor Hub; there are in-person meetups for people aged 16 and above, across four states, as well as online meetups. They are free and are facilitated by Survivor Hub survivors, supported by a social worker or a counsellor.
There are safe talk guidelines for the meetups and support for participants who may feel triggered by the conversations, something which Brenda is familiar with. “That’s okay,” she says. “That’s also part of the journey and you’re in such a safe space that the other people will be more than understanding.”
Brenda was named the 2024 Westfield Local Hero for Chatswood, and awarded a $20,000 community grant for The Survivor Hub, and says she’ll use the money to continue services and is looking to start a meetup in the North Shore area.
“Having my lived experience of being a victim of crime is something that has very much shaped who I am today and what I do,” Brenda says.
“Having The Survivor Hub has meant that I have a really safe and appropriate space to share some of that experience”
“I have seen the very worst of humanity, but also seen the very best. There were lots of key people along the way that have made a (positive) difference in my life. I wouldn’t be here without them, so I want to be able to pass that on.”
For more information, visit thesurvivorhub.org.au
JENNY PRIDE Foster carer to 40 children
At 72, Jenny Pride has been ‘nanna’ to 42 children in her lifetime, many of them living with cerebral palsy or with special needs, and she has no plans to stop.
“I can do it and I enjoy doing it,” Jenny says. “I always say, ‘I’ve got a car seat and when it expires in 10 years I’m going to stop.’” But somehow Jenny says she always ends up getting a new one!
Jenny fosters children while also caring for Marusha, 28, who lives with cerebral palsy.
“She is vision, hearing and speech impaired, and she has a quadriplegic form of cerebral palsy,” Jenny, a North Shore resident explains. “So she can only functionally use one finger.”
Marusha, who Jenny proudly refers to as her ‘daughter,’ is currently studying criminology, sociology and English literature at Deakin University. “She can do the study online with the one finger she uses,” Jenny explains, adding that Marusha has the support of a reader/writer. “She’s very bright, she gets high distinctions.”
Jenny’s home has been a haven for young people over the years, with Jenny taking in many crisis and short-term care foster children. As a retired nurse, she’s often cared for children who require tube feeding or respirators. “I’ve had at least five children with cerebral palsy,” she explains. “But they’ve all gone on to long-term adoption or long-term foster care.”
Some children stay for six months, some for 12, and Jenny is still in contact with around 15 children she’s cared for over time. “I still see them, they’re like grandchildren. They still call me nanna,” she says.
Being a crisis foster carer means she can often receive a call at 2am to take in a child, and often they will arrive with nothing but the clothes they are wearing. Which is why Jenny helps the charity, Hope in a Suitcase, which provides children entering the foster care system with a suitcase filled with essential items like brand new clothes, toiletries and a cuddly toy for the younger children.
“I still see them, they’re like grandchildren. They still call me nana”
“The children cry and say, ‘Really, is this mine?’ We put a book in there, and the older ones get a diary. They are all donated by people,” Jenny says. She helps to pack the cases regularly.
Jenny with Marusha, who is studying at university
Jenny is also an advocate for the Cerebral Palsy Alliance. “I’ve supported them for many years and I still do,” she says. “I very much advocate for kids coming into my care that I feel have cerebral palsy and (the alliance) has always been helpful and positive.”
She says early intervention with cerebral palsy is key, and the Cerebral Palsy Alliance has just opened a new early diagnosis clinic at the Sydney Children’s Hospital in Randwick. “It’s been a real blessing because to be diagnosed under 12 months is much better for the child (as) the outcomes are much better.” It was for her advocacy work with the Cerebral Palsy Alliance that Jenny was named as a runner-up in the 2024 Chatswood Westfield Local Hero awards.
“You do it because you can do it and you want to do it,” Jenny says. “And it’s rewarding. You see the kids and you see how well they achieve and what they do, and they come back and see and remember you – that drives you.”
For more information about Hope in a Suitcase, visit hiasc.org.au
To make a donation to the Cerebral Palsy Alliance, visit cerebralpalsy.org.au