After being diagnosed with an adenoid cystic carcinoma in her voice box, Lily Gubbay now spends her days representing the support and community that she first needed herself in 2015.
Having stepped down from full-time work to reduce the stress she was feeling, North Shore local Lily continued to struggle, a relentless emotional rollercoaster that made it almost impossible to leave the house. Despite trying to hide the strain she was feeling, Lily recounts she “wasn’t really living.”
It was in this time of great stress that she begun to experience physical symptoms severe enough for both friends and family to urge her to see a doctor; all people without whom, Lily says, the consequences today would be far greater.
In the end, an ENT informed Lily she had cancer. She says her first thought was, “What terrible timing!”
For someone for whom life already felt like it had stopped, processing the dreaded news wasn’t simple. The real impact came, she says, days before surgery, when she was informed of the possibility that she could lose her voice permanently.
It was this concrete statement that affected Lily the most; so much so that, for a week, she decided she would not turn up to the surgery at all. She says it was her surgeon’s simple words – “we are trying to save your life” – that gave her the necessary “wake-up call” to save her own life.
One complicated, delicate surgery and several weeks in hospital later, Lily had recovered enough to be sent home. Yet she still couldn’t shake the fear of dying that had only recently been all too real.
Her journey continued by way of the Chris O’Brien Lifehouse, which Lily says was “amazingly supportive and gave a new perspective to life post-cancer.” It was during a regular check-up that Lily first learnt of Cancer Council NSW’s eight-week Survivorship Enrichment Program. For Lily, it was the focus on both “physical and emotional guidance” that helped her feel back on track and, most importantly, consider her future.
Not long after, she was appointed as one of Cancer Council’s Community Ambassadors, of which the focus was finding strength in a community of shared experience.
“It was all so unexpected,” Lily says. Though she felt less alone and also less scared.
Lily was the first volunteer to be chosen for the Leadership Development Program, allowing her to advocate for a space to process the emotional and isolating experience of cancer on a grander scale.
Only just recovering use of her voice both physically and emotionally, Lily says she was initially reluctant to take on the role.
“I remember laughing, thinking, you’ve got to be joking!” Yet again, her desire to help others overruled this fear.
Lily’s work is driven by the information and support she realised she needed back in 2015
– most significantly, a community connected by something that, by its nature, is isolating.
The Cancer Council NSW enabled Lily to “enrich her sense of place in the world”, and while her recovery continues to be outwardly focused, her own voice has been bolstered in the process.
Lily was recently chosen to speak with local MP Felicity Wilson about the work of Cancer Council NSW.
“I never expected so much of this to happen, it’s been a bit of a blessing in disguise.”
Whether she is the key speaker at Cancer Council NSW’s recent ‘STARS of the North’ in Cammeray or being chosen to liaise with her local parliament member for Cancer Council, Lily asserts her greatest achievement is the confidence and tools she has provided others to live in their own “new normal.”
“I picked myself out of that black hole, and now I can do that for others.”
Today, Lily’s motto remains simple: enjoy life, make the most of what you have, and do your best to help others.
If this story raises any questions about cancer for you or anyone you know, call Cancer Council on 13 11 20 or visit cancercouncil.com.au/get-support.
By Amelia McNamara