Locals Sheila and Tyson have bravely placed the pain of their so-far failed IVF journey on national television in Channel 9’s Big Miracles series. The Queenscliff couple spoke with Peninsula Living about how they have made it through the lows, and their optimism for their plans to create a family.
When Sheila Vijeyarasa was 38, she made the dramatic decision to freeze her eggs.
“I found myself single at 38 and wanting a family,” she says. “I knew that this would put my mind at ease in terms of going out and dating. I didn’t have to rush.”
Seven years later, she found her perfect partner, Tyson Salijevic. Just three months after they met, the couple started IVF.
“It was timing that everything aligned for us,” Tyson says. “The goals, the dreams, the desires that we both wanted out of life. At the same time, knowing that we needed to go fast because Sheila was 45.”
Sheila and Tyson have drawn strength from each other to keep going through the arduous IVF process.
“IVF is tough,” Sheila adds. “I think we were so in love and compatible. We knew we could do IVF together. That’s how strong we felt as a couple.”
It has been a tumultuous 18 months since the couple first met. They joined the Big Miracles show very soon after starting their journey with IVF Australia, which meant cameras filming all aspects of the process, including implantation of the only viable embryo created with Sheila’s frozen eggs.
Sheila and Tyson say the endless rounds of IVF put them on a rollercoaster of emotions.
“It didn’t take us long to say, ‘yes (we will be in the show),’” Sheila says. “As people, we are about inspiring others to be brave and empowered.
“I don’t think we knew how hard it was going to be, though.”
Going into that first round of IVF, Sheila says she was ‘really scared’.
“A part of me thought, that if this doesn’t work, we have no backup. And I had a feeling that it may not work.”
Eleven days later, Sheila and Tyson were filmed waiting for the results of their pregnancy test. The negative result was devastating.
“The grief when we felt that first time was overwhelming,” Sheila says.
The couple quickly decided to harvest more of Sheila’s eggs. Sheila was implanted several more times with embryos, but did not get pregnant.
Tyson said their emotions were ‘constantly’ up and down with each implantation.
“You’re constantly in this state of hope and you always get disappointed,” he said.
The couple both mentor others in ‘life coaching’ and were able to draw on their own lessons to have the strength to continue.
“If we were younger and we hadn’t done as much self-development work already, or spirituality, then maybe it would’ve hit us faster,” Tyson explains. “But because we’ve been teaching coping strategies to people for years, we needed to live what we preached.”
Sheila and Tyson say that while filming the series became ‘part of [their] life’, the small production crew were very respectful and never felt intrusive.
IVF was more surreal than the cameras, Sheila says. “Just the constant failing. You think if you do all the right things, you’ll fall pregnant.”
Statistics show that the chances of conceiving at age 45 through IVF is around four per cent – contrasting with two per cent naturally.
In the end the couple stopped further implantations as tests had found their remaining embryos were not genetically viable. It was then their doctor recommended ‘Plan B’ – a donor egg.
They are looking to start this process in the next few months. While the couple admit they are apprehensive, they are also excited.
“We’ve got such wonderful support in each other,” Tyson says. “We know this is what we want, and we’ll do whatever it takes to get there.”
Sheila adds: “With IVF and starting a family, it’s just a process. It’s a process of resilience, hope and love. And I think that’s maybe an analogy for life.”
Series one of Big Miracles is on 9Now.